So, I had a list of questions to take to the doctor for Baby G's one-year well-baby check.
First question: Do we finally get to get rid of formula?
Subtext: Because I frickin' hate that stuff! It's expensive, smells bad, and I hate mixing it!
Answer: Yup. Have at it! Start mixing whole milk with your remaining formula to get her used to the switch.
Response: YESSSSSSS!!!!
Second question: How on earth do we start weaning this baby entirely off of bottles?
Subtext: Because I'm scared, damnit. I'm really really scared of this process. Don't let the baby know how much she intimidates me at times, okay?
Answer: Just drop a bottle feeding here and there and don't give one to her until she demands one. It's okay to keep giving them to her at naps and bedtime for a while. Those are the hardest ones to let go of for both baby and parents. I'll want to see her off of bottles by about 15 months or so.
Response: Phew... I have some time and I'm not a terrible parent for NOT dropping bottles cold turkey right at 12 months! YAY!
Third question: Why won't this child hold her own bottles or sippy cup?
Subtext: I know why she won't do it. She's got a good thing going right now. She gets her bottle and/or sippy contents and has to do absolutely no work on her part! But, I'm not going to tell you that because then you'll know that we *occasionally* indulge our child and her demands. Ok... more than occasionally, but still...
Answer: Actually, it's okay. She'll get it. One day she'll just decide that she is done with having things done for her and she'll demand to do it herself.
Response: Ok good. I can cross this off of my list of, "Things I'm doing to terribly ruin and/or destroy my child's life."
Fourth question: How many bananas is too many bananas? Can my child suffer from over-exposure to yellow curved fruits?
Subtext: Because this does not seem natural or healthy. It is the only food she asks for BY NAME at this point. If I sat her down with a bunch of bananas it would be like that one scene in Jurassic Park with the goat and the Tyrannosaurus. Not a pretty sight.
Answer: As long as she doesn't get constipated and as long as she's willingly eating other things, too, it should be fine.
Response: Thank goodness! Again, I can cross that off of my "How to improperly raise a child" list!
Fifth question: When my kid is self feeding, can she possibly overeat at this stage or will she stop eating when she's full?
Subtext: ...unlike both her father and her mother.
Answer: Yep, babies are way better at stopping when they are satisfied than adults are. She shouldn't over-stuff herself.
Response: Are you sure? That kid can EAT!
Subtext 2: Seriously, that kid can E-A-T!
Answer 2: Yes, I'm sure.
Phew... At least I now know I'm not ruining my child in various ways. Thanks Doc!
