Monday, February 6, 2012

A year in Facebook updates

As our first wonderful year draws to an end, I would like to look back on a year's worth of Facebook updates about you. Since I didn't start this blog until most of the way through your first year, this will give you some insight into my thoughts during the early days of your life. Here are some of my favorites, in no particular order! (With actual names changed because, you know, this is the internet and all)

February 2011:
*Pleased to announce the birth of Baby G, a healthy, happy 8lb/8oz. baby girl!
*I'm awake with the baby while dad gets about 20 min of sleep. Seriously. :( Turns out, we're ill-prepared for parenthood AND paranoid on top of that. Team P. has to pull itself together, man...
*Also... pretty sure the baby is now barking in her sleep. The dogs have already been a bad influence, it seems.
*Despite the insanity, thanks to EVERYONE for your good wishes and happy thoughts! We've appreciated the outpouring of love from all of the awesome people in our lives and even when we're pulling out hair out, we love the hell outta that behbeh. :)
*Ewww... I'm THAT mom already! I almost saved Baby G's first booger to show her dad when he gets home. To my defense, that booger was HUGE and kind of fascinating. You should be glad I didn't post pics.

March 2011:
*Mama is so on the ball that she JUST NOW ordered Baby G's birth announcements... and she's 6 weeks old! Oh well, it gave me more time to take a ton of super cute pictures to choose from. :)
*Last night's sleep can best be summed up by posting the score: Mama: 0, Dad: .001, Baby: Infinity
*Our tiny little progeny seems to be coming online right before our eyes! Prior to last week she was sort of an adorable human shell, but since last Wednesday (or so) she has started smiling AT us and offering eye contact! She's pretty awesome. :)
*(At the risk of sounding like one of those parents who thinks that everyone should buy something just because it worked for me...) I have two words: Miracle Blanket! My swaddle-resistant baby had the best sleep since she came home from the hospital and, therefore, so did I! That things is GENIUS!
*Not having the best first day back at work. :( Moral of the story: Even when I think I've taken care of everything, I haven't.

April 2011:
*Reading stories about sick/dying children always made me sad, but since becoming a parent I cannot even think about that happening without shedding tears. It sounds so cliche to say, but I've never loved as strongly and fully as I do now. I can't imagine my life without her now that she's here.
*I'm going to start leaving stuff at home "accidentally" more often if it means I get to see my completely adorable baby and dashingly handsome husband mid-day, every day! #highlightofmydaysofar
*Two months ago today I gave birth to an awesome little behbeh! It has been the craziest two months of my life! Happy 2nd month of existence, Baby G!
*If the kiddo is in a good mood after picking her up from daycare, I might take her to the park. Anyone up for some baby pit-fights in the park? Bring your baby and your A-game and LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!! (ETA: I didn't actually engage in baby pit fights... more than 5 times.)

May 2011:
*Grumpy baby, I cast a +2 nap-of-nearly-3-hours spell against you! Will I defeat you? Let's wake you up and find out...
*Squalling baby hit back with a +1,000,000 "screw your nearly 3 hour nap" potion rendering all other players in the dungeon terribly incapacitated from the horror. THE HORROR!!!!
*First tornado warning with the baby... Stressful!
*Going to bed when it is still light put? Yep. Thanks baby! :)
*Awesome: It's my baby's 3 month birthday today! Happy 3 months, Baby G! Not awesome: It's day one of being serious about dropping the baby weight. Pretend I'm a caged animal at the zoo and don't feed me. Here we go again.
*Had a lovely evening last night with Cash's mom while the boys went on a man-date to see Thor. After getting home and doing the nightly routine by myself I have come to the realization that I would NEVER cut it as a single mother! To those of you who have done it, you have my admiration!
*I know it's a cheesy TV show, but I'm not gonna lie... the Buffy episode where the demon is going to eat the babies bothers me. Ugh... I'm that humorless parent who can't separate my life from fiction anymore. Damn!

June 2011
*Grrr.... this day knows I want to be home with my family so it's punishing me by being so unbearably long and pointless. Yeah, well screw you, too THURSDAY!
*Worst night of sleep since Baby G was a newborn. :( Set "mood" to bad.
*Baby immunizations are as fun as a brick to mommy's face! Ugh...
*3 hour nap!!!! The one good thing about baby immunizations? Perhaps! I feel better, anyway!
*Just wanted to get a jump start on the Father's Day goodness by saying that my hubby is a fabulous father! Baby G hit the daddy jackpot and I think she already knows it if her large toothless grins upon seeing his face are any indication. :)
*You know what, here's a big "Screw You" to the people who don't consider it "giving birth" if you had a C-section. I wanted nothing more than to naturally birth my child without medical intervention but it would have likely killed Baby G and/or me to do so. I still gave birth to her, though. How dare anyone say such hurtful things to any woman about their birth experience? People are CRAZY dumb sometimes. For real.
*Oh sad coughing baby... it hurts my heart to hear you hacking away. :(
*Baby milestone: Baby G gave her dad her first pity-laugh today. She laughed but didn't smile at all at something he said.
*Hubby and I both seem to have forms of the stomach flu. Baby G doesn't have it too badly, but there are signs. How do parents take care of a baby when they are both dying???
*The behbeh rolled from her tummy to her back unassisted TWICE this weekend! Just because it happened after about 10 times of assistance means nothing... she's AWESOME!! *air guitar and rock horns*
*I always said I would never put my baby in any sort of beauty pageant/cuteness contest but I'm not going to lie... it would be easier to keep that vow if she weren't so damned adorable all the time. Still... going to resist... (unless some really awesome prize is attached because then all bets are off, baby! Mama needs a new car!)

July 2011
*Hubby is trying to put the baby to sleep... Poor Hubby. :( She is a tough nut to crack so I'm making him practice doing it. Meanest wife ever? Probably so! Go the eff to sleep, Baby G!
*Baby G just said mama! Granted, it was in her sleep and she wanted her binky and may even think the binky is her mama at this point... But I don't care!! I heard mama!! Woot!!
*Awww... little baby bear has a fever this morning. :( I hope it is all related to teething (she has the drool and the "OMG I'm gonna gnaw on your face/fingers/arms/the cat and dogs" thing going on) but I worry, of course. I wish she were more dexterous so she could hold her teethers more successfully!! Get some coordination, kiddo!
*At the ER with Baby G . :( Bad temperature spikes and possible seizure terrified her dad and I! She has had some shots and bloodwork and we hope we get to take her home soon. Rough night for all of us. :(
*Baby bear is feeling much better! Her temp went down to reasonable levels and we are back at home headed to bed. Glad this night is over!
*I feel like some sort of baby whisperer after managing to get Baby G to sleep on the FIRST TRY last night! It was the third night of her transition to her crib and so far I think we're winning the fight. I even got a chance to dream last night! It would be perfect if we had some sort of comfy bed for US in that room, but it's so small in there we have to rely on futon mattresses on the floor. My back! :(
*How does one deal with a baby who hates being swaddled but also hates NOT being swaddled? A very tired set of parents are dying to know the answer to this question. :(
*Greeeeeat... The fireworks in the cul-de-sac behind us have started. Baby is trying to sleep and fireworks are illegal in Lawrence. Time to be a dick and tell them to knock it off?
*We were going to live and let live with the fireworks until the mortars started going off 20 yards from the bedroom window. I don't think so, sir.
*My least favorite game to play with the baby is a little thing I like to call "poop or fart?" I'm guessing I don't need to explain the rules to you.
*Had the pleasure of feasting my eyes on the infant wear section at Spencer Gifts in West Ridge Mall this weekend. Never have I seen so many references to "titties" or so many uses of the word "fuck" on clothing meant for >1 year olds. Keep it classy, y'all.

August 2011
*Ok, now that I'm done griping about technology... I'm so excited that Baby G slept ALL NIGHT LONG last night. Not just 5 hours, not just 'easy to put back down when I went in there', but slept (without any intervention on my part) from 9:00 last night until 6:00 this morning! There are no words to explain how much we all needed that sleep! Can we make it happen again tonight??? *fingers crossed*
*Boy, I was NOT expecting that sort of reaction from Baby G 's 6 month immunizations. Fever, pain, discomfort, restlessness... Ugh. It made for a very long night in our household. THEN, on top of all of that another big storm??? Thankfully, Baby G was finally asleep when it rolled through and she's a champ at sleeping through insane weather.
*Sooooo..... Anyone want to help a crippled mama pick up her baby from daycare and babysit both of us until her dad gets home around 7:30 Wednesday? Sprained knee means I can't really care for her by myself until I don't need the crutches. :(
*Terrifying moments last night when Baby G 's motion sensor monitor alarm went off around 3:00 am. We have the Angelcare Monitor. It comes with a motion sensor that goes under her crib mattress and it is sensitive enough to detect her breathing. The alarm goes off after 20 seconds of no detectable movement/breathing.
*Oh boy! Baby G has the start of an emerging tooth! Bring on those chompers!

September 2011
*Baby G has a cold. Unlike last time, however, she has developed a strong phobia of the nose-sucky bulb. :( I know I could help her, but she won't let me. So sad and frustrating! I'm using the saline spray and humidifier instead.
*So... it appears we have been asked to find a new day care because of various issues. I'm pretty stressed about it because I'm really sad to drop Baby G off at a new day care when I know she will freak out. Don't get me wrong, we were considering leaving for some place closer anyway, but Baby G is having some stranger-danger stuff and a new place seems really stressful for her. Anyone else have this happen to them? How did your infant react to it?
*Our temporary day care has now become our permanent day care! I'm switching my work days around so Baby G can legally stay at her new daycare (which, I may say, has been FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC thus far!) Consider me totally relieved! I'm glad Baby G has made such a great impression and glad that she is so happy! Mama can breathe again! :)
*Neighbor dogs... You shut up right now!!! Wake my baby and I will make rugs out of all of you!!!
*Here's how my night went without Advil PM: *Go to bed around 10:00. *Still awake at 10:30 when baby cries out in her sleep. Soothe baby, back in bed by 10:45. *Finally get to sleep somewhere around 12:30. *12:50 baby cries out in her sleep. *Soothe baby, back in bed by 1:00. *Finally get to sleep somewhere around 2:00. *4:45 baby cries out. Wants diaper change and feeding. *Take care of baby, put her back down, back in bed by 5:15. *Lay in bed not sleeping until alarm goes off at 6:00.
*Advil PM did a "Kool Aid man" to my insomnia wall last night. Sadly, I'm pretty sure the wall will be rebuilt before tonight and I have to be alert when my Baby G -alarm goes off. How cruel is it to suffer from insomnia when you have an infant and you need to take every possible chance to catch some sleep? I think I need to chant the Serenity Prayer or "Om" or SOMETHING today. I need some peace in my thunderstorm-filled brain.
*Weird question for parents (especially moms) on my FL: Do you ever have times where you are irrationally worried/concerned/anxious about your child? Like, for no reason other than you have a weird/uneasy feeling, you just wish you had your kiddo with you at that exact moment. I'm having one of those days, but this one is harder than the others I've had. Lack of sleep, maybe? I'm feeling teary-eyed today... :(
*Anyone want to come hold a baby while I vacuum the house? I have the only baby ever who hates the vacuum!

October 2011
*I realized this weekend how much of my mental processes are devoted to hoping and praying my child is being good for her day care provider and her various babysitters. Yet again I must apologize to my parents for something that never even occurred to me until I became a parent.
*You guys... Have I mentioned lately how rad my baby is? Because, yeah... That kid has all the Pokemons and a bag of chips. Truth!
*I miss my baby today. :(
*Happy 8-month birthday to the coolest baby in the history of cool babies... Baby G ! Happy 1 month birthday to the mop of fuzzy hair on top of her head! :)
*Sometimes I'm a little overwhelmed at the thought of being a parent. Holy crap! I'm responsible for the proper upbringing of a tiny human! Who in their right mind thought that was a good idea?? :)

November 2011
*Oy... that car seat I just bought better do the dishes, make dinner, fold my laundry, and make a mean mango smoothie for what I just paid! What? It just sits in the car all the time doing nothing but protecting my child from all of the terrible drivers in Lawrence? I guess I'll allow it. :)
*I just know someday science is going to uncover the shocking truth behind those GIGANTIC flower bows people put on their baby girls... they cause forehead CANCER! Baby G will be so pleased that her daddy and I thought they were ridiculous and never put them on her as a baby. You're welcome, Future Baby G !
*In the course of a few days my fuzzy-headed baby with the "sticks straight up" hair has grown up before my eyes. Her hair now lays down "properly" making her look much more grown-up and it makes me a bit sad. Goodbye, fuzzy-headed baby with the insane hair! I'll miss you! Hello sleek-haired baby! You are pretty darned adorable, too. :)
*Now that Baby G is nearly 10 months old I should probably finish that huge cross stitch I got 99% of the way finished before she was born. It is for her nursery, after all. #procrastination (ETA: I still haven't finished it...)
*How can you tell I'm serious about my daughter's musical education? The keyboard I wanted to get for her as her "intro piano" is now completely off the list regardless of the cuteness simply because the reviews say two of the instrument options are a half step flat compared to the other instrument options. I will NOT have my kid thinking middle C is actually B flat when it comes to real piano lessons one day. As one of the reviewers said, music is a language! I wouldn't buy a toy that mispronounced a bunch of words and hand it to my kid. Also, apparently this keyboard only plays two notes at once. You can't do a proper chord with only two notes! Back to the drawing board.
*I am so very very thankful for my husband and my baby girl. I don't have a ton of money. I don't drive a fancy car. I don't live in a huge house. However, I have everything I need and will ever need as long as I have my hubby and Baby G .
*It hurts my heart to think of raising my smart, beautiful, amazing, and, awesome daughter in a world where other kids (and sometimes even parents!!!) are chomping at the bit to tell her otherwise. Parents MUST teach their children it is NEVER okay to taunt, tease, threaten, or physically/emotionally damage other children! Good grief, these are KIDS who are KILLING THEMSELVES!! It's more than getting caught up in the drama of jr. high and high school. This is insanity and it must be stopped.
*Baby G appears to be ready for size 4 diapers. Who told my baby it was okay for her to grow up so quickly??
*Happy 9 month birthday to my beautiful fuzz-head, Baby G ! She's been out of me as long as she was in me! Insane!
*On this day, 4 years ago, I married the most adorable, passionate, witty, intelligent, and all-around awesome hubby any girl could ask for! He's seen me at my best, my worst, and everywhere in between and STILL loves me unconditionally! He's my best friend, my love, my sounding board, my balance, and the best father I could ever have dreamed for my baby girl. I am grateful he asked me to marry him and thankful I get to spend the rest of my life with him! I love you so much!
*It does my heart good on Thursdays to know that my baby girl is getting quality daddy-daughter time. I miss them terribly while I'm at work, but some little girls never get that opportunity to hang out with just their dads like that. It's really important time and we're lucky that he gets the chance to do it. :)

December 2011
*Only two months until Baby G 's 1st birthday! The party planner in me is SUPER excited! I've already started designing her party AND started putting decorations together. Yes, I realize she won't remember a lick of of it, but that's what cameras and baby books are for! This kid is getting an awesome party AND the adults who come are sure to have a good time, too! *party pose*
*Since our day care is closed over the week after Christmas break, I assume others are as well. Do any other "temporary stay-at-home-moms" want to get together for play dates? I know my kid is going to get SICK of hanging out with JUST mom so I need to find some play date/group opportunities or she'll go nuts! Have car, will travel (reasonable distance, of course!)

January 2012
*When the baby is away, the hubby and I will play..... The House cleaning game. It isn't as exciting as it sounds, trust me.
*Typical Thursday... my hubby and my behbeh are hanging out together and I'm sitting at work wishing I was hanging out, too. Blah... :(
*It makes me equally parts pleased with myself and saddened by my addiction when I consider everything I've done to document Baby G 's first year of life. Can I keep this up over the long-haul? I really hope so! Also, I need to win the lottery to continue feeding this addiction because even with the awesome deals I get I know I spend more money than I should on this stuff.
*Yesterday was a pretty insane day. Baby G took several steps (5 at once was her personal best!) and then around bedtime as we were zipping up her jammies we discovered one of her thighs was significantly larger than the other one. It was really weird. I did the worst possible thing and Googled the possibilities only to discover there are some extremely scary things that can cause such a thing to happen. We called the on-call Dr. who recommended we bring her in to get checked and to get X-rays, if necessary. I freaked out thinking this would be my worst nightmare come true; finding out my baby has something wrong with her. This morning I went in to wake her up and check on her. Her thighs were mostly the same size again. You can still see the right one is a bit chunkier, but the massive size difference had diminished. We're going to see if it happens again tonight to see if there is a pattern. I'm just hoping we maybe had her diaper cinched tighter on that side or something like that. This is the part of motherhood I really suck at. I'm such a worrier when it comes to her health.
*No bigs... My baby just took her first steps today. (omgomgomg... Not ready for this!!!)
*Awww, best surprise ever! I just got an awesome office visit from my beh-beh and my hubby! Makes the rest of the day seem like cake. :)

February 2012 (So far... will be updated at the end of the month)
*We are playing fetch with the baby... with an actual dog toy. She loves it. #parentsoftheyear
*Worst night ever. Every living thing in this house conspires to keep me awake. #upsince3

I think I like this tradition so I will add the annual "Facebook Breakdown" as one of our new traditions! Hope you enjoyed a glimpse into your mama's mind throughout your first wonderful year of life!


  1. Now that is an awesome idea for a post! I will totally steal this and get to it!

  2. Timeline makes it MUCH easier than it would have been otherwise! Steal away!